Thursday, April 26, 2007

Welcome Back to The Ho-Ho-Kus Cogitator

It’s been twenty-two months and eighteen days since the first (and only) issue of The Ho-Ho-Kus Cogitator Blog appeared. That’s rather a short-term delay considering that the twelve-page print version of the Cogitator took thirty-seven years to move from an idea in Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey in 1967 to a reality in Santa Cruz, California in 2004.

The print version of The Ho-Ho-Kus Cogitator©, is published regularly on an irregular basis, and in keeping with our goal of being as honest as possible (not unbiased, just honest), the four-member staff is really only yours truly, Harvey Gotliffe. I am listed as the Editor & Publisher, and I get help from the Layout & Design person, R. V. Leonard (which are my first two names, Harvey Leonard), from the sole Editorial Contributor F.L.Togg (which is derived from Gotliffe spelled backwards as effiltog), and finally there’s H.L.B.Hertz, (which is my Hebrew name, Haim Laib Ben Hertz) who is listed as Cunctator. That last word means “procrastinator” and after a thirty-seven year delay in starting the print version, you can see that it’s an aptly earned title.

Today, the print version is on a roll, with Vol. 1, Nos. 1, 2, 3 and 4, and Vol. 2, Nos. 1, 1.5, and 2 circulating in eighteen contiguous states and Hawaii, as well as in three other countries. The 1.5 issue was a summary of the 2006 election where the Democrats earned the right to screw up, unless they are stymied by the Bush veto.

The next issue, which is due out by summer, has a lead article entitled “Why I Won’t Vote for Bush in 2008,” and right now we’re up to 37 reasons why. Yes, we know that the last reason is that he can’t run again thanks to the ratification of the XXII Amendment that limits the election of the president to two terms in office, only one of which can be stolen. If you think that the U.S. Congress and state legislatures are slow in acting today on any matter of importance, this Amendment was proposed on March 24, 1947 and ratified by three-fourths of the state legislatures on February 27, 1951. Talk about cunctation.

The Ho-Ho-Cus Cogitator has covered a plethora of topics including racists Elvis, Viagra and sex, cell phone vasectomies, orgasms for peace, advertising people and other goniffs (thieves), Pat Robertson and Nazis, church and state, cell phones and swearing in Death Valley, the Iraqi War and faith in the military establishment, helpful income tax facts, “Tys, Thais and Ties,” professional sports, cheaters on college campuses including the coaches, Homeland security and insecurity, Joseph McCarthy, Eugene McCarthy, Norman Thomas, the Indian love call, wretched excess, homicide bombers, restroom surveys, Disney and gay weddings, the INS, commuting, the postal disservice, and George W. Bush and his own internal axes of evil.

In the last issue of the Cogitator, Vol. 2, No. 2 which was just delivered in April, 2007, the following quoted material was in a short piece asking “Is There Life After Birth?” “Recently, syndicated columnist Art Buchwald died at the age of 81. Paul Krassner, the creator of The Realist, is more my age and seemingly quite alive when I saw him recently. Both of these fine satirists and this fledgling writer have at least one common belief, that is best summarized in a Buchwaldian quote. “You can’t make up anything anymore. The world itself is satire. All you are doing is recording it.”

Both versions of The Ho-Ho-Kus Cogitator will continue to not only record the world (or at least parts of it), but also give you a look at it from a somewhat skewed perspective. Hopefully we can show you that the run-of-the-mill, non-destructive daily narishkeit (nonsense) is just that, and perhaps we can even motivate you to try and figure out what to do about reducing the serious narishkeit that pervades the world today.

For most of you, if not all of you, perhaps the lead in should have read “Welcome to The Ho-Ho-Kus Cogitator.” You can reach us at or by writing us the old postal way at Cogitator Publications, P.O. Box 3602, Santa Cruz, CA 95063-3602. That’s the home of the print version and if you would like to receive a copy of the latest issue, please let us know.