The Oy Way, or Oy Vey?

While the use of the Yiddish expression Oy Vey is far more prevalent in society today, there would probably be far less of a need to utter that agony-induced phrase if people would only inculcate the calm-inducing, meditative lessons learned by following The Oy Way.

However, in this fast-paced electronic world, seemingly fraught with unattainable demands, we have little time to quietly meditate upon our condition, yet alone being able to find a small oasis to relax in, even if it’s for only an hour.

Expect or Accept?

A psychologist friend once told me that we humans expect too much and that the multitudes of disturbances that occur in our lives are just a natural part of our existence. She further emphasized that the best response is having the right attitude and learning how to accept the overwhelmingly large number of infringements that can rob us of our peace and tranquility

Here's the Rub

Earlier this week, I scheduled a massage in my living room from the masseuse who helps relieve unwanted stress for my wife and myself. Before she came, I disconnected all phones, put a sign on the front door that reads “Massage In Session, Please Do Not Disturb,” and turned on the small fountain by the window. I enjoy listening to the soothing sounds of the gently flowing water as I let my aching body succumb to healing hands.

Then as I sank deep into state of pure relaxation on the massage table, I was rudely yanked out of it by the unnerving sounds of a power mower cutting the lawn immediately outside my front door. I took a deep breath and was grateful that the insidious sounds lasted but a few minutes, as the operator moved on to the next lawn in our nine-unit townhouse complex. But the noise abatement was momentary as the man in charge of edging the lawn approached with his own instrument of aural destruction. His intrusion was also short lived, but it lasted long enough to stop any relaxing flow. Oy Vey.

Ballet Shoes and Roller Skates

These two intrusions were like a light-footed field mouse wearing ballet shoes noiselessly walking across the floor, compared to the thundering sounds of a rampaging rhinoceros on roller skates. The latter came in the form of another landscaping craftsman wearing impervious-to-sound ear plugs, who had turned his leaf blower up to the maximum disturbance level. Oy Vey.

He completely obliterated the fountain’s soothing sounds and for the next forty-five minutes, I barely felt the healing massage, and was unable to follow the advice of my masseuse. “Think of it as the sound of a swarm of bees,” she advised me. I ignored her suggestion believing that a swarm of bees flying around me would not lend itself to my peace of body and mind. Oy Vey.

The Oy Way

What I desperately needed was to remove myself from this hectic world and escape to another where peace could more readily be found. The way to realize this was to follow The Oy Way.

I have learned to do so and you, too, can follow the path of most resistance by mastering the lessons learned in The Oy Way. Rather than encumbering you with excessive, unnecessary descriptive verbiage, simply go to the source at http://www.theoyway.com.

An Elephant Should Never Forget, Neither Should a Don Quixote

I will be going to Vienna this July and playing in the 13^th Maccabi European Games as a member of the Men’s Masters Table Tennis Team, and have been reading Vienna and Its Jews, The Tragedy of Success, 1880-1980s.

On page 172 the author notes that Hitler addressed the Austrian Nazi party conference in 1920, spoke in several cities the next year to “the party faithful,” and in 1922, Hitler was the main speaker at the Party’s first major public rally in Vienna.

It’s My Party and I’ll Shout If I Want To

The main political parties were the Social Democrats whose ideology was basically Marxist, and the Christian Socials with its strong relationship with the Catholic Church. In late 1926 while setting their sights on the following year’s elections, the Christian Socials emphasized their opposition to Marxism and to the “predominance of the decomposing Jewish influence.”

As you may readily discern, these parties promulgated their opposing ideologies, much like America’s two major political parties do today.

The following paragraph found on page 177 is put forth here almost verbatim, only inserting any changed words in Italics including the substitution of “Congress” and “Congressional” for “Parliamentary” and “Parliament.”

“Insert names here had both learned the arts of compromise and conciliation as party leaders but they nevertheless took a sacred view of their respective missions. Consequently, the two major parties confronted each other across a chasm that was both wide and deep. Congressional interchanges were marked with a minimum of courtesy and a maximum of acrimony. Personal insults including racial slurs were traded back and forth. One noted writer says the whole set up ‘emphasized division instead of debate, doctrine positions rather than weighing of concrete issues. Congress, then, instead of nursing a basic consensus, as it generally does in western democracies, emphasized the divisions in the country and contributed to the destruction of consensus.’”

2010 Is Dead and Gone, 2012 Is Now in Sight

Santayana is well known for his perceptive and sadly reaffirmed line, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” In Volume I of his 1905-1906 five-volume “The Life of Reason,” Santayana offers that thought and another for ineffectual, conciliatory weaklings like Republican Speaker of the House John Boehner and Harry Reid, who will be serving his fourth consecutive two-year term as Senate Democratic Leader. The two parties seem to have no knowledge of or have forgotten to heed or understand Santayana’s other pronouncement, “Fanaticism consists in redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.”

George Santayana, Philosopher, Essayist Poet. December 16, 1863 – September 26, 1952

Absurdity Becomes Reality

Certified Absurdity

On May 2, I sent an entry to the Huffington Post entitled “Certifiable Idiocy in the Matter of Birth and Death.” It described both the insanity of the birthers and the denial of European insurance companies who refused to pay claims to families of Holocaust survivors. The reason for the latter’s purposeful injustice was based on the fact that the Nazi had not issued death certificates “after they had extracted the victims gold teeth, gassed them, and then burned their bodies in the crematoriums in Auschwitz and Birkenau Concentration Camps.” The complete post can be found at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/harvey-gotliffe-phd/trump-bin-laden-_b_856717.html

At the conclusion I facetiously wrote, “Now that Osama Bin Laden has been killed, there is sure to be Doubting Donalds who see it as a sinister ploy by Obama to boost his ratings and increase his chances for re-election in 2012. They may demand to see a properly signed, official death certificate.”

The next morning when I turned to the letters-to-the-editor page of the San Jose Mercury News, John W. Lillpop had written in part, “Osama bin Laden’s death must be tempered by the probing question: Where’s the death certificate?” On his home page, J.W. describes himself as “a recovering liberal, 'clean and sober' since 1992.” On a recent blog he lauds the GOP’s leader writing,

“Donald Trump has demonstrated that he, and he alone, has the grit, determination, prestige, and intelligence to lead where the weak dare not go!”

I sent an email to J. W. praising his work and within five minutes he responded, “Wow! Thank you ever so kindly for your words. I was actually shocked that the SJMN published that.” Many others probably had the same feeling.

He added in another email, “Good to know there is another conservative in San Jose!” My problem is that J.W. is now sending me three emails a day, believing he has found ideological kinship with me.

Bay Area Absurdity

Leave Me Out of the Ball Park

When Atlanta played the Giants in San Francisco on April 23, the Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell allegedly made homophobic comments and crude gestures toward fans before a game. The leader of young men was also accused of using a baseball bat to threaten a fan that objected to his actions. McDowell was suspended without pay for two weeks by Major League Baseball and was fined an undisclosed amount. He will be required to complete sensitivity training and apologize directly to the fans involved.

Across the Bay, to celebrate the killing of Osama bin Laden, the Oakland A’s public address announcer asked fans to “Raise their Budweisers” in appreciation of those who serve their country.

Previews of Coming Distractions

Are you at all curious about the following juxtapositions?

1. On May 2, the average price of a gallon of gasoline in the USA cost $3.963.

2. One year earlier, the cost was $2.898 per gallon.

3. During the first quarter of 2011, Exxon Mobil “earned” $10.7 billion, up 69% from one year ago.

4. In the same period Chevron “earned” $5.69 billion, up a mere 25% from 2010.

5. In 2010, Rex Tillerson, CEO of Exxon, survived on $21.6 million in compensation.

6. John Watson, CEO of Chevron, got by with $14.0 million in 2010.

That’s the Way the Ball Bounces

In a recent table tennis contest, one player was quite ebullient after winning a close game. Have you ever been ebullient and if so, when? If not, why not? We await your response by clicking on “Post a Comment” found below.

Another Advertising Tail

The San Jose Mercury News with an estimated circulation of 225,000 has lost abundant amounts of classified advertising revenue as well as most large retail advertisers except for Western Appliance and Macy’s. The downturn in the economy fostered the increase in two-page, full-color advertisements from motel-based companies like Treasure Hunters Roadshow who try to “help” financially beleaguered citizens by offering to acquire their “gold and silver coins, jewelry, wrist & pocket watches, toys, trains, dolls, military items & swords, and advertising items.” Perhaps they’ll make an offer on this advertising article.

It’s a Small World

Newspaper advertising seems to have grown in one small, seemingly innocuous category; that which requests vehicle donation for a charitable organization. Each advertisement is black and white, 3-inches wide and two to three inches deep.

The eclectic list of organizations lead with a bold headline asking readers to either “Donate Your Car” or “Donate Your Vehicle.” This is usually followed by a description of what vehicles are acceptable and the list includes cars, trucks, vans, rv’s, boats, motorcycles, trailers, “and more.” It might be a blessing if they would also accept two-wheeled, motorized Segway scooters, the terror of the sidewalks. Many walkers and other non-users would be grateful if the charitable organizations first accepted and then scrapped them.

Not a Cliff Hanger

In a bit of irony, in September 2010, the millionaire owner of the Segway company was found dead in a river near his UK estate, having plunged over an 80-foot cliff while riding his Segway. The scooter was found near the body. Now let us segue back to the charitable organizations.

These organizations running solo advertisements include Make A Wish Foundation, the Polly Klass Foundation, the City Team Ministries, and The California Council of the Blind. There is one advertisement which is a triple-header seeking vehicles for the Diabetes Society, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, and South Bay Purebred Rescue.

They all offer free pickup, have a web site to let you easily donate online, let you know that your donation is tax deductible, and have a phone number and “Live Operators 7 days!,” which is better than dead operators.

Seeking a Local Locale

When I called them, I received a busy signal at one organization, a recorded message from another, and a woman answered on her cell phone and our conversation kept being cut off. I was able to get through and talk to someone at Make A Wish who said that she could take down my information and have a towing company pick up my car. I said it was running and I could deliver it and she asked for my area code and then offered me several Northern California locations to take it to, the closest of which was about fifty miles away. I would get a minimum $500 write off, and if the car was sold at a higher price, I would receive a Form 1095C acknowledging that price as my donation.

When I asked her where she was located, she replied “Minnesota,” but quickly explained that while Make A Wish was a national organization, all proceeds from the sale of my car would go to my state.

After thinking it over, I will either keep my 1987 Honda CRX, give it to my daughter, or drive it off a cliff with Thelma by my side.

Truth in Advertising and Other Lies

Our two local weekly publications are aimed at a 25-to-35-year-old audience, and occasionally offer readable and usable writing. They are primarily published to siphon local advertising dollars away from the town’s only daily newspaper. Both of the weeklies’ use a standard gimmick of publishing a “Best Of” issue where employees, relatives and friends vote as many times as possible for their favorites, and the top three in each category are officially listed. Occasionally, customers also vote if egged on enough by the establishment. In turn, all of the first, second and third-place “winners” are convinced to run full-color advertisements bragging about their pseudo status.

Categorically Denied

The cornucopia of categories cover every entity from dog parks to dentists, and in the latter category, two dentists proudly placed a headline in their ads thanking voters for making them “The Best Dentist.” One did earn that dubious honor however the other finished in second place. When I called the second-place “winner,” the receptionist said, “People just cast their vote. It’s not democratic. We just get called by the newspaper’s advertising people who asked us to run an ad. We never usually advertise at all.” She was reluctant to discuss why the second-place winner was advertised as “Best.”

Not Really My Type

There are two main types of advertising in print media. There’s classified where the advertisements are placed according to classifications such as “Help Wanted,” Used Cars” and the like, and display where larger advertisements are run throughout the publication. This is something any neophyte should be taught their first day on the job.

When I called the weekly, a sophomoric intern answered the phone and I asked if she could connect me to display advertising.  In a squeaky voice she incredulously asked, “Display?” After I explained what the term meant, she transferred me to a more mature twenty-something saleswoman. I innocently asked how two dentists could be “The Best,” especially in light of the fact that her publication listed one of them as being in second place.

The Last Shall be First

She answered firmly, “He is a winner in second place, so he is ‘The Best Dentist.” I tried to convince her that he was “The Second Best Dentist,” probably because he didn’t have as many employees, relatives and friends voting for him as the first-place winner. She adamantly defended her point by saying, “There are thousands of dentists in the area. (Only190 are listed in the Yellow Pages). The voters voted for the top three and that makes him a winner in ‘The Best Dentist’ category.” I tried once again to convince her otherwise, but she was probably too busy planning for the next “Best Of” issue and figuring out how to hustle advertisements from all of the future first, second and third place winners, as well as those who finished last.

Some of those latter establishments probably didn’t have enough employees, relatives and friends voting to finish in the top three, so they created their own advertising headlines declaring, “Thanks for making us winners.”

I wonder which of my neighbors’ noisy dogs had the inclination to vote for the “Best Dog Park?”

 

 

 

Hear Today and Gone Tomorrow

On January 9 the front pages of most newspapers were filled with stories of the tragic shootings in Tucson, Arizona, as were the lead stories on radio, television and in the major news magazines. The primary focus was on Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and the perpetrator.

Within a week, the shootings were relegated to shorter side stories on the other victims, the motivation for the killings, the funerals, and then coverage drifted to stories on gun control and Arizona’s Wild West persona. They were accompanied by editorials from the left and the right. Each screamed for attention and went to ludicrous lengths to offer something new and different. A syndicated columnist with a Spanish surname offered the following headline to his screed, “To Latinos’ relief, suspect was white.”

Please Step to the Rear

Slowly but steadily the stories moved away from the lead item on television’s evening news and the front page of newspapers. It found a resting place first on page A4, then A6, and then was pushed back to A8. On February 5, four weeks after the tragedy the story shifted to astronaut Mark Kelly, Giffords’ husband and his decision to command the space shuttle Endeavor’s flight in April. That flight will be news again in two months, but will remain a dormant story until then.

But that’s the same with any news story whether it is the heinous shootings in Arizona, the revolutionary demonstrations in Tunisia and Egypt, or the suffocating snowstorms that closed much of the country from the Midwest to the east coast, at one time causing the cancellation of thirteen thousand flights.

News is news when it happens and just like the snow, when it melts away it is no longer news. It is easily replaced by the next grab-your-attention-for-the-moment story.

News vs. Unadulterated Hype

The annual Super Bull is the uncontested winner of the non-news hype award as its coverage in late January and early February pulsates on the pages of newspapers and magazines, resonates on the airwaves and even clouds the skies above. The latter takes place during the game when a commercial blimp flies overhead thumping its sales message while the broadcasters below marvel aloud on what a wonderful view they are bringing you. Like the game itself, the blimp is filled with hot air.

Locals Go Loco

Local retailers succumb every year to the hoopla and join the hype of the game trying to sell whatever they are pushing. Some advertisements intimate that to preserve lifelong relationships, you have to “score big with your friends” by having enough to eat and drink at your party. Other retailers offer “Super Deals” on everything from big-screen television sets to automobiles, and the consumer who buys one of their products are told that they will have their lives transformed for they “will be a winner.”

The Big One Is Coming

The February 5th edition, known as SB XLV, is a showcase for advertising and national advertisers who are willing to spend $3 million for thirty seconds of time; that comes to $100,000 per second. To many advertisers it’s well worth the price; of the twenty all-time most-watched television programs, sixteen have been the Super Bull, including those in first, third, fourth and fifth place in the years 2010, 2008, 2009, and 2007 respectively. Last year’s SB XLIV reached 51.7 million households with an average audience of 106.5 million viewers. In second place was the last episode of M*A*S*H which ran on February 28, 1983 and reached 50,150,000 households.

A Straight Beats a Flush

For many people, the commercials are the highlight of the game, but there’s a concomitant problem connected with them. During the 1956-57 television season “I Love Lucy” was the number one rated television program, as it had been three of the previous four seasons. The water department in White Plains, New York was puzzled as to why every Monday night at 8:10 PM and 8:20 PM, the level in the reservoir dropped dramatically. One astute worker finally figured out that was when the commercial breaks for the “Lucy” show occurred, most viewers hurried straight to their bathrooms so as to not miss any of the program, and then they all flushed at about the same time.

I’ll Drink to That

Among this year’s SB XLV advertisers are Pepsi, Coke, Dr. Pepper and Anheuser-Busch and combined they are scheduled to run a minimum of nine commercials for one form of liquid refreshment or another.

With viewers being subliminally or overtly encouraged to quaff a drink or two or more during the game, when commercial time arrives, don’t be too surprised if the reservoir level in your town also goes down leaving advertisers high and dry. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Betcha — Our Campaign Was Dead On Target

Sarah Palin, the darling of the Tea Party and  irrational Republican conservatives, is as dangerous as a loaded gun when her mouth shoots off ill-timed and straight-from-the-hip proclamations. Her campaign managers are inept in many media. During the fall campaign, her SARAHPAC targeted Democratic congress people who voted  for the Obama Health Care Plan. In a not-too-subtle, not-too-intelligent way, Sarah and her gang  did it by creating a poster that displayed crosshairs of gun sights directly aimed at twenty of her Democratic enemies around the country.

One was pointed at the occupant of Arizona’s Eighth District, Gabrielle Giffords, who was first elected in 2006. http://www.themudflats.net/wp-content/uploads/palincrosshairs.jpg

On Saturday, January 8, 2011, a deranged twenty-two-year-old gunman approached Congresswoman Giffords at a voter meeting in Tucson, Arizona. He shot her in the head, killed a federal judge and five others including a nine-year-old girl. Giffords was among at least twelve people who were wounded.

Ever the leader the GOP desperately needs, just hours after the shooting Sarah issued a statement expressing “sincere condolences” to the family of Giffords and other victims.

Keep your powder dry as the 2012 congressional candidates, all 435 of them, start loading up on the rhetoric, ready to shoot off hopefully only their mouths. Care for another cup of tea?